And for now..

For a very long time now I have had either a very good coping skill, or a really not so good trait. I’m never really sure which, and sometimes I think it might be both.

I am not easily panicked.. but maybe that on a bit of steroids. I fear very little, even at times when I probably should. I am seldom afraid. Things are rarely a big deal to me, not enough to get worried about. Again, even when I probably should be.

I could be wrong but I think the people like me, who’ve gone through such a horribly profound loss tend to go one of two directions with this. Either we have had this intense loss and so we live in this ever present fear of it happening again, or we truly feel that we’ve been through the absolute worst thing that could ever happen.. There is nothing we could ever go through that would come anywhere near as close.

I fall in with the latter. Which brings me to now, in this really uncertain time.

I hear the news about this virus. I see the numbers grow of those tested positive with it, and now those we are losing to it. The warnings, recommendations, and steps taken are changing on an almost daily basis.

How I act or react is entirely my own. I do not pretend it is the perfect or right course of action. I know full well my tendencies to be very slow to fear or to react. How I feel, again, is just me. I don’t expect others to feel the exact same, nor do I fault them for how they feel.

As for me I will continue to take this day by day. To listen to recommendations. To continue with protective measures, and to add new ones as needed.

I will continue to live as normally as possible, making adjustments where needed.

I will continue to work as long as I am able, and to get in and help those I work with to the best of my ability. I will work to improve my abilities, to be of more help where I can.

I will continue to instill that which is positive into the lives of my children. To help them focus on the good, and look for the good in others. Even when things appear or feel uncertain, to use creativity and flexibility.

To be still when need be, to weather a storm. To gain strength in the weathering.

I will look for ways to encourage those around me. Ways to lend a hand. I will pray for those who have asked for prayer in this time and will pray for those who have not.

I would encourage each of you to keep close (well, maybe not physically) your friends and family. To take in their love, support and encouragement during this time. To give that in return, to them and to others, where you are able.