Please don’t get me wrong… in that moment there is no peace. In that moment there is just that moment. Then, and for a good while after, peace seems to have retreated in to an unreachable void.
For that time frame it really doesn’t come to mind. Your thoughts are filled up with what is pressing, then with what is needed to survive.
In that time it is not something that you really feel or look for.
When others, well meaningly, say times heals all wounds… it does not. Not really, not fully.
Time brings with it the little things that allow the heart to begin to beat again.
And in the next while a few moments will bring a small smile. A few moments will bring a deep breath. A few moments will bring a deeply felt, and deeply welcomed quiet.
And in these moments you begin to feel peace.
At first this may bring a feeling of guilt. To feel peace without the presence of our loved one has felt, for a time, unimaginable.
And with peace soon will come a glimmer of hope. And with hope perhaps an added initial sense of betrayal, for how can we hope with that person now gone?
But hopefully, as quickly as those feelings came, will also come a remembrance.
A remembrance that our loved one loved. That they embraced not only peace and hope for themselves, but rejoiced in it for their loved ones, as well. That they celebrated those moments with us.
And soon we realize this is not only a needed part of healing for ourselves. It is also a beautiful honoring of our loved ones.
And that is something to be thankful for.
Of Loss and Love 