Of Perspectives….

Once upon a time, some years ago, there was an actor. Said actor caught my notice with several movies, specifically as they were just fun to watch. And bonus, actor was pretty darn nice to look at, as well.

Fast forward several years and the same actor cemented himself, in my mind, as an absolute favorite.. not because of the earlier movies or for his dashing good looks (yes, I just said that) but because of the reaction his newest character at that time evoked out of my toddler.

Of her many amazing quirks, one that stood out a little was that if she had a favorite of anything when said thing (persons included) were anywhere in the vicinity of her she would come bounding gleefully, as well as a toddler can run, towards her deemed favorites. She was not much for toys but really, really loved several things… her people, horsies or most any other animal, a particular brand of potato chips, m&m’s, the music video to I Hope You Dance, and her one favorite video, I believe created from an older tv show and/or book. We had the video cassette of it… probably several of the same one from watching it so much, and having to replace the worn out one.

When she came running for any of these things she always did so with such joy and enthusiasm… like the rather contagious kind.

Now back to this favorite movie… she loved the whole thing really. Would actually stay focused in on it, for the most part, for the entire movie. Focusing that long for any toddler is pretty impressive, by the way. There was one part of the film that was undoubtedly her favorite part. It was where this character, the hero played by this particular actor, once hearing music starting in the jungle declared it dancing time. The heroine replied that she would be too embarrassed, she might feel stupid. He bumbled around a bit and said there was no one there to look stupid for, and danced… hopping and dancing around the fire in the evening, thus encouraging her to join in, with his gorilla friends playing the drums. She of course, though reluctantly at first, joined in. He was so joyous and exuberant in the dancing.

Every time the music began in the background my toddler would grab the hand of the nearest person and would bounce and dance. She always did it so joyfully, too! She was always in that moment and super happy. That scene never failed to capture her attention, each and every time we watched it. Sometimes we would even be made to rewind the scene, even several times, so she could dance with us more. And because of that repeated awesome reaction from her he became a real favorite of mine.

He went on to do more movies, a cool well known actions series among them, but then just kind of disappeared from movies.

Over the last few weeks, and maybe month or so, I have had the pleasure of watching him return to sight, as he is appearing in a drama, one of those that seems to have some life affirming and thought provoking kind of scenes in it.

As he is making the rounds with the talk shows, etc, I was surprised to see a subtitle on one stating something to the affect of him not really liking making that particular film. To be fair in the bit of the interview that I was able to catch I don’t think that he personally ever actually said that. It seemed it was more to do with working with, and the actions of, a specific monkey in that movie. And as someone who has worked with a few monkeys myself I can understand that. Man, are they seriously awesome creatures… but some of them… little a-holes, I’m telling you…

But I must confess to fully getting my dander up just in seeing that one little descriptive subtitle… like how dare this man, who I have admired for so long, even hint at not enjoying making the one movie that brought my little one so much happiness and joy…. the nerve…

I have since seen more of that interview, and a few others. I know that I am a bit extra particular to that movie, and the reason that I hold the memory of my daughter dancing to it so dearly. And I also am quite sure that I overreacted.. but it did get me to thinking… even if he had truly hated making it that would have been his own right and choice. I could not fathom such a thing, but he would have had his own unique experiences and journey with it with the subsequent feelings and thoughts drawn from that.

This then brought to my mind, maybe even with a little hyper focus, perspective.. and what that means for humans as a whole and individually. Any given thing can bring me joy and happiness, or sadness and despair, or anything in-between. The very same thing can bring about the opposite feelings and emotions in any other person at any given time. And no one is wrong in their’s. Those are wholly their’s. That’s just part of being human.

I know the pain of having a perspective few have lived through and that so many misunderstand. I know this is due to personal experience with the unthinkable, and so I often choose to overlook the perceived pity, frustrations and judgments of others towards me or my family in those moments. I might be misunderstanding them myself and if not then I remember they cannot truly understand the depths and nuances of my perspective. They just do not share the experiences that make up that perspective.

I also have recently noticed that what is perceived and perspective are often interwound in use, but that they are not actually the same thing. To me perceived is what I think I have seen or know, where perspective is born of our personal experiences and/or journey.

So with this in mind I am beginning to look to not only note perspective in others, but to honor the feelings and choices those may bring to the individual. Today I got to see and practice this in action.

In our new home state and area we have made it a point to get out at least once on any good weekend to find to places to see or local stores to visit. To support locally when we can. I particularly love a good antique store, and we found one today.

It is a new building in a town about 10 minutes away from where we are currently living. There are vendor booths, with a lot of cool things to see. I tend to be drawn to specific things, some of a pattern I collect or something unique like a vintage cast iron toy.

While here I was admiring an antique baby bed. It was well made and wider than most I have seen from that time frame. It had a number of baby dolls in it. Though sometimes quite lovely vintage dolls just aren’t really something I am drawn to.

As I was passing along the bed from the inside of the booth there was a lovely older woman coming from the other direction in the aisle way, who paused there at that bed. I don’t think she noticed any one else at all there, just those dolls. She seemed to be drawn to one in particular, and gently and carefully picked it up. I would even go so far as to say she held it lovingly.

I would swear that at that moment her mind went far back to a wonderful time and place in her past. She looked both happy and saddened at the same time.

It hit me that I was visually seeing someone else’s perspective. Initially my own perceived notion of the doll was not favorable. It was worn and seemed a little creepy to me. I was only pulling from what I thought to be. She, however, saw and cherished that doll with the full perspective of a personal experience or experiences past.

I promise you that I did not stay in that area long. But I did take notice. I respect the feelings and emotions she experienced in that moment. And I feel honored to have seen a glimpse of the woman’s heartfelt perspective.