Do you remember, back in elementary school, being asked by maybe a science teacher the question “What does a body need to live?” The obvious answers were food and water, followed closely by shelter and clothing.
I hadn’t really thought of that question again until recently. And while the above answers are certainly factually true I’ve been thinking that there is one more thing that is probably equally important. That one thing is connection.
My three sisters and I have always been pretty close. As adults we all have our own full lives in different towns in three states. Luckily the states are all connected, but I am now the furthest from them all, with the shortest drive for a get together with any of them now being four hours away.
A few weekends ago I had the privilege of acting as a sort of tour guide, as one of my sisters and her husband came to this area for a weekend visit. I was thrilled to get to show them around, to introduce them to my favorite shops and restaurants. To get to be a part of their first glimpses at this area I have so quickly come to love.
And as awesome as all of that was I found that just the time I got to spend with my sister was just as awesome for me. While I love being here, I really needed that time, that connection in particular. It was the emotional recharge I hadn’t even realized I needed. Phone calls and texting are a great way to keep in touch, but sitting down and getting to have an actual conversation with someone who knows you so well, who loves you in all your amazingness and in your shortcomings. that’s pretty priceless.
True connection.. it comes in moments of shared sadness, pain and grief, it comes with shared joys and triumphs. It comes in compassion and understanding. The moments that become our most meaningful are most often ones in which there was real connection.
I think that connection is something our souls were designed to need. Not a want, but an actual need. It’s worth to both parties is beyond measure. I think it is part of why we grieve so deeply. It is part of why that grief remains with us in some form for the remainder of our lives. And why that connection with a recently lost dear one, seems as though it (connection) might be lost as well.
I don’t think that is true. I think that connection is still there. It just doesn’t present in the same way. It is not physically noticeable anymore, as we cannot physically interact again with that dear one. But there is connection.. in remembrances… connection brought closer, even if briefly, by a scent, and sound, a touch, a sudden memory.
My wish.. may our connections (past, present and future) and the experiences and memories they bring evoke more and more peace, happiness, hope and even joy for all of us.
Of Loss and Love 